Wednesday, April 4, 2012

A Population of "Me's"

It dawned on me this morning, when I was waiting for my turn to go through the intersection, waiting on the lead car to turn left, no one gives a shit about anyone else anymore.  How did I come to this?  This particular intersection is almost impossible to turn left out of.  Some people will wait 10-15 minutes to turn left.  Turning right is no problem at all.  But every morning the same people are there trying to turn left, not giving a fuck all about the people who are turning right, and could do so with ease.  They know that they're going to have to wait.  They know they're going to cause other people to wait.  To be late to their jobs.  They know that they could take a route that won't back up traffic.  But they never do.  Why?  Because they don't give a fuck about you, me or anyone else.  Only what they want to do.

They're the same people who pull into the "NO PARKING - FIRE ZONE", right in front of the god damned entrance door.  "Its ok" they think, "I'll only be there for a second".  Wrong bitch.  Its MOST CERTAINLY NOT OK.  Not when you are making people walk around your fucking car.

They're the same assholes who just bought a new car, and instead of parking at the far end of the lot, to make sure no one opens a car door into their new vehicle will park right up front.  IN BETWEEN TWO PARKING PLACES.

These are the same type of demons who go into businesses two minutes before closing.

They leave their shopping cart in the middle of the isle, while they walk up and down.

They don't want to get in the spot directly behind you, to turn at the red light, so they'll try to race you to the next light, so they can cut you off and nearly make you rear end them.

They're the fucks who insist on texting while driving.

They will never use a blinker.

If you honk at them to alert them to a mistake they've made, they're more than willing to give you the finger for exposing their shortcomings as a driver.

These people will park in a lot clearly marked "EMPLOYEE PARKING ONLY" just because the business they need to attend to will only take a minute.

They most certainly love to talk on their cell phones while trying to conduct business with you.

Oh, and you better believe they'll let their dogs shit in your yard because "they're so small, they don't make big shits."

They love to smoke cigars in a bar.

Any and every one of these types should be revoked on their rights to procreate.  Those of us, who are trying to make our society a decent one to live and work in should not be subjected to this type of "fuck you, I'm the only one that counts" behavior.

How have people come to these types of actions?  I'm not talking only about teenagers, but all ages.  I'm talking about the 50 year old who parks his truck on the sidewalk of a grocery store, when there is open parking 20 feet away.  I'm talking about the 20 year old who pulls up at the stop light by my office, and instead of turning his stereo down, will I swear to God, turn it up until my fillings are rattling from the indecipherable bass rattling bullshit.

The "all about me, fuck what you want" attitude, it keeps me from buying beer at a store on Sunday?  WHY? If people don't want to buy beer or booze on Sunday, then don't fucking buy beer/booze on Sundays.  Why should I not be able to buy beer, just because you don't want to?  Where is the harm in me doing this?  Does it harm you?  No.  Am I coming over to your house when you get out of church and chugging beer?  No.  So why in the fuck of fucks, can I not go get a six pack of beer to enjoy while I'm grilling out?

I try to do right by other people, I hold doors open for people.  I hardly ever get thanked for it.  I use my blinker and then get cut off at the next light.  There are glimmers of hope that I notice every now and again.  But then it gets squashed by some fat ass in a van, who is practically parked in the front door of an establishment because he can't walk an extra two feet.

I'm getting to the point where I'm getting angry at people every day.  I know its completely pointless to be angry at things like this, but it builds one after another.  I let one slide, then anther instance happens a little later that day, then another.  Next thing you know, I'm sitting in my underwear, drinking rum, and pounding furiously on my keyboard about jerk offs.

This one lady today, I swear was the last straw.  She parked right in front of the entry way of Target.  I'm not talking off to the side a bit.  Or just a skew to the right.  I'm talking right dead center in front of the entry, in the fire lane.  And put it in park.  I immediately went into imagination mode of things I would love to have done right then and there.  Digging my pocket knife a quarter inch deep into the side of her car.  Kicking out her window.  Going to the sports department, grabbing a new base ball bat, and just reworking the shit out of her Honda.  Something to draw her attention that she is making people walk around her, when she should clearly not be there.

Politeness, Chivalry, they're dead.  Long live Me.